From DeWayne Hayes in Sturgis. SD

I have a little GPS I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones My GPS is my wife
 
It gives me full instructions Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says "You're doing thirty five"
 
It tells me when to stop and start And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever Safe to overtake
 
It tells me when a light is red And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctivelyJust when to intervene
 
It lists the vehicles just in frontAnd all those to the rear
And taking this into accountIt specifies my gear.
 
I'm sure no other driverHas so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the carIt still gives its advice .
 
It fills me up with counsellingEach journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange itAnd get a quieter sort?
 
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and thingsAnd - keeps me warm in bed!
 
Despite all these advantagesAnd my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a whileI could turn the darned thing off.