It's a rough year, but I am making it.

As heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. I ordered a burger at Burger King, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them. Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico . Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan . When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.