Perks of being Over 60

As heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson


*         Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

*         Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

*         Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

*         People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

*         People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

*         There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

*         Things you buy now won't wear out.

*         You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

*         You can live without sex but not without glasses.

*         You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

*         You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

*         You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

*         You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

*         You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

*         You sing along with elevator music.

*         Your eyes won't get much worse.

*         Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.