IS WE IS, OR IS WE AIN’T??As heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson

Now – Is we is? – Or is we ain’t?

It’s that time of year again . . .

When makin’ plans or keepin’ a schedule

Is a battle you rarely win!


The spring works are on in ranchland,

There’s always much to be done –

Like gatherin’, brandin’, spayin’ an’ such;

For cowboys, it’s usually fun.


A time to see all your neighbors,

A chance to showcase your skills . . .

So, markin’ those dates on your calendar

Starts ya’ lookin’ forward to thrills.


Wond’rin how that colt will handle . . .

Will your shoulder take the stress

Of ropin’ . . . draggin’ . . . for hours on end?

(Yer’ hopin’ it won’t end a mess!)


Just look there – that’s the month of May –

Most ever’ day is taken!

First on one ranch, and then on another . . .

‘Till ya’ find ya’ were mistaken!


Mistaken to do such plannin’

An’ figure it might work out,

Without the weather jest boggin’ her head



Now jest notice all those “cross out’s”,

Scatterin’ clean down the page –

Each one represents well-laid plans put off . . .

Plus some rancher (an’ ranch-wife) rage!


She’d done cooked a meal for forty . . .

He’d booked men, real hard to get;

Then when a downpour forces a cancel

They just might roar, “HO-LY . . . . I QUIT.”


‘Course that’s not really an option . . .

They’ll haf’ta go to “Plan B”

Except . . . what if too many have cancelled?

Could “Plan B” turn into “Damn me!”


Some ranch spouses would’ve agreed –

While tryin’ to feed the crew –

That pulled in to brand, then got “mudded in” . . .

Well, what would you think she should do?


Three days later . . . finally brand….!

It’s hap’nin’ again this year!

The calendar’s marked . . . people have promised . . .

But the boss is filled with fear –


Lookit that forecast! What a mess!

Now, you bet, we need the rain . . .

If it’d just wait ‘till the brandin’s done,

Well, it sure could save some pain!


People’ll show up on this day . . .

Oh gosh, what a scary thought . . .

Should it come a toad-strangler . . . mud ‘em in,

World War III may soon be fought….


In many a happy ranch home!

Well, seldom do ranch wives pout . . .

But when she’s been cookin’ for three days straight,

Then the crew gets “mudded out”


Her disposition is challenged,

Knowin’ her salads will spoil

‘Fore anyone can show up to eat’ ‘em . . .

That’s a FINE waste of her toil!


Now, part of the meal she can freeze,

To thaw out when it is needed . . .

Yet even at best it won’t taste as good

As fresh! SURE —she’s conceited –


Concernin’ her reputation,

“Best cook in the neighborhood”!

So tell me, IS WE IS? OR IS WE AIN’T?

Neighbor, it would sure be good


If we could out-guess the weather . . .

Do our work, then take our ease . . .

So, soon as you conjure a remedy . . .

Let me know FIRST, won’t you PLEASE???


© Rhonda Sedgwick Stearns 5/22/11