As heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson


'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin', yes, even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

 

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
while upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
went into the kitchen and started to clean.

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what's the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

 

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. Postman".

 

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them into our curb-side box.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

 

"Now Dillard, now Broadway, now Penneys and Ward;
Here's Robinson, Saks -- no more can you afford.
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
You charged away -- charged away -- charged away all!

 

"He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work,
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster now, with just half a load.

 

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got -- you'll be paying all year!"