BAPTIST DINNER FOR TWELVE

As heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson

 A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

 

 When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak, but her husband, 'No mushrooms. They cost too much.

 

 He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.  She said, 'No, some wild  mushrooms are poison.

 

  He said, 'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK. So, Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ole' Spot (the yard dog) a double hand full.

   Ole' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ole' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

   The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town
To help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.

 After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played Phase 10
And Mexican train dominoes. About then, the helper lady from town, came in
And whispered in Janet's ear, 'Mrs. Williams, Ole' Spot just died!'


 Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the

Doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.

 

 Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.
The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and
Pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came
Out and said, 'I think everything will be fine now.' Then he left.

 

 They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room, and about
This time, the helper lady came in and said, 'You know, that ass-hole that ran over Ole' Spot never even stopped!