SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly, if the chickens like their eggs they can
keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her
eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need
to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed
the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with
us or against us. There is no middle ground here.


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I
am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how
stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants
to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so
that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing
the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable
and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?