Law of Probability - The probability of being
watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 
             Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never
get a busy signal and someone always answers. 
                       . Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the
smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help. 
                   Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
      Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings. 
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with. 
     Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will. 
                      Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the
people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are
the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or
the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game
is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long
gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance.
The aisle people also are very surly folk. 
                The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold. 
                   Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a
locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.                      Law of
Logical Argument -Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about. 
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 
                     Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth
gathers no feet. 
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product
that you really like, they will stop making it. 
               Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to
go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't
make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and
over with taking children to the pediatrician. 

                    > If you don't share this with friends, your belly
button will unscrew and your bottom will fall off