Foreign Language -  Mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when
all of a sudden, a cat attacked them.

The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important
to learn a foreign language".

Sailor Parrot -  So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears
like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight
without repeating himself.  The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot
is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him

One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat,
shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!"

But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy
gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a
kitchen cabinet.

This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy
finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that
would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws
and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.

At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may
be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens
up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully
sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary
from now on."

The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come
over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken