For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy
this e-mail.  For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed.
Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer.  A
re-run of great 'one liners' from the man who was known for his clean humor.

 
I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. . . 
 
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 
 
 1.  Two times a week we go out to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage, good food and companionship.  She goes on Tuesdays; I go on
Fridays. 
 
  2.  We also sleep in separate beds.  Hers is in California, and mine is in
Texas . 
 
  3.  I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 
 
  4.  I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been for a long time!" she said.  So I suggested the
kitchen. 
 
  5.  We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops. 
 
 10.  Remember:  Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 
 
11.  I married Miss Right.  I just didn't know her first name was 'Always.' 
 
12.  I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.  I don't want to interrupt
her. 
 
13.  The last fight was my fault though.  My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!" 
 

And he always ended his programs with the words . . . "God Bless" with a big
smile on his face.