What Is The Quickest Way - 

A tourist stopped a local in a village he was visiting and asked; "What is
the quickest way to the lake?

The local thought for a while. "Are you walking or driving?" he asked the
tourist. "I'm driving."

"That is the quickest way!" the local said


Behind a Bush -  

A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
"Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"

"No," her mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw
up behind a bush." After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her

"Did you throw up?" Mom asked.


"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned
so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the
front door that says, 'For the Sick.'

Famous Quotes - Bookstores #224

"A bookstore or a library are the only pieces of evidence we have that
people are still thinking."

-Jerry Seinfeld