Being a father, I try not to bother,

My teenage daughter and her friends;

But trying to be cool, and not a fatherly fool,

I joined their discussion of fashion trends.


I'm an old cowboy, and try not to annoy,

My daughter or right her many wrongs;

But I had to jump in, with a half crooked grin,

When they started in talking about "thongs"!


Now, this subject I know, I was young long ago,

And as a young boy I wore them all the time;

When down at the pond, I grew quite fond,

Of the footwear from the five and dime.


We weren't talking bout, the same thing no doubt,

They were talking about women's underwear;

Ya know the kind, that ride up your behind,

By golly, I think I would rather go bare.


I wish I was struck dumb, and had not surcome,

To the temptation of being one of the girls;

But it all went south, when I opened my mouth

And offered my wisdom and worldly pearls.


"It's been a while", I said with a smile,

"In fact I haven't worn em' for years";

"All us boys wore em', it was stylish decorum",

I said proudly among mirth laden tears!


"Coarse making them fit, always hurt a bit",

"As I wedged them firmly in the tight space";

"I once wore my brother's, or was it my mother's",

"I remember they were trimmed with lace"!


I continued unchecked, my manhood was wrecked,

And I had them hanging on my every word;

The girls were all choking, most of em' croaking,

At the terrible things they had just heard!


So, I carried on, as if nothing was wrong,

And lamented about how they used to fit;

"The rashes they laid, and calluses they made",

"Until they were broke in a little bit"!


"They were terribly hard, didn't protect or guard"

"The things they were suppose to protect neither";

"And I didn't care much, for the odor and such",

"Coarse I didn't wash them very much either"!


"They had no traction, not even a fraction,"

"Although their comfort can't be knocked";

"The thing I hated most", I continued to boast,

"Was the noise they made when I walked"!


Everyone around, picked their chins off the ground,

And my daughter explained what I had said;

I'm glad that I, didn't explain to them why,

I want to be buried with them on when I'm dead!