LIST FOR THE DAY - You Know You're in Trouble When...

AS heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson


- Your accountant's letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich.

- You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.

- Your suggestion box starts ticking.

- Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

- You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.

- You see the captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

- They pay your wages out of petty cash.

- You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.

- You tell the barber what you think about his prices before you get your haircut.

- Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.

- The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

- A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

- You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell your wife.

- The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

- Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

- The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

- The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.