QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT!
 
How important does a person haveto be before they are considered assassinatedinstead of just murdered?

Once you're in heaven, do youget stuck wearing the clothes you were buried infor eternity? 

Why does a round pizza come in asquare box? 

What disease did cured hamactually have? 

How is it that we put man on themoon before we figured out it would be agood idea to put
 wheels on luggage? 

Whyis it that people say they'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like everytwo hours? 

Whyare you IN a movie, but you'reON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tallbuildings and then put money in binoculars tolook at things on the ground? 

Whydo toasters always have asetting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,which no decent human being wouldeat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no onecares, why is there a stupid song abouthim? 

Whydoes Goofy stand erect whilePluto remains on all fours? They're bothdogs!

Why,Why, Why do we press harder on a remotecontrol when we know the batteries are gettingdead? 

Whydo banks charge a fee oninsufficient funds' when they know there is notenough money?

Whydoes someone believe you when yousay there are four billion stars, but check when you
say the paint is wet?

Whydoesn't Tarzan have abeard?

Whydoes Superman stop bullets withhis chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver athim?

Whydo Kamikaze pilots wearhelmets?

Ifpeople evolved from apes, why arethere still apes?

Why isit that no matter what colorbubble bath you use the bubbles are alwayswhite?

Isthere ever a day thatsofas arenot on sale?

Whydo people constantly return tothe refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Whydo people keep running over athread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down,pick it up, examine it, then putit down to give thevacuum one more chance? 

Whyis it that no plastic bag willopen from the end on your firsttry?

Howdo those dead bugs get intothose enclosed lightfixtures?

Why isit that whenever you attempt tocatch something that's falling off the
table you always manage to knock something elseover? 

Inwinter why do we try to keep thehouse as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?

Howcome you never hear father-in-lawjokes?

AndmyFAVORITE......... 
The statistics on sanity is thatone out of every four persons is sufferingfrom some sort of mental illness.

Think ofyour three best friends -- if they're okay, thenit's you.