The Original WARM FUZZY TALE  by Claude Steiner

As heard on the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson

Once upon a time, a long time ago there lived two very happy people called Tim and Maggi with their two children, John and Lucy.

To understand how happy they were you have to understand how things were in those days. You see, in those happy days everyone was given, at birth, a small soft Fuzzy Bag. Anytime a person reached into this bag he was able to pull out a Warm Fuzzy.

Warm Fuzzies were very much in demand because whenever somebody was given a Warm Fuzzy it made him feel warm and fuzzy all over. People who didn’t get Warm Fuzzies regularly were in danger of developing a sickness in their backs which caused them to shrivel up and die.

In those days it was very easy to get Warm Fuzzies. Anytime that somebody felt like it, he might walk up to you and say, “I’d like to have a Warm Fuzzy.” You would then reach into your bag and pull out a Fuzzy the size of a little girl’s hand.

As soon as the Fuzzy saw the light of day it would smile and blossom into a large shaggy Warm Fuzzy. You then would lay it on the person’s shoulder or head or lap and it would snuggle up and melt right against their skin and make them feel good all over.

People were always asking each other for Warm Fuzzies, and since they were always given freely, getting enough of them was never a problem.

There were always plenty to go around, and as a consequence everyone was happy and felt warm and fuzzy most of the time.

One day a bad witch became angry because everyone was so happy and no one was buying potions and salves. The witch was very clever and devised a very wicked plan.

One beautiful morning the witch crept up to Tim while Maggi was playing with their daughter and whispered in his ear, “See here, Tim, look at all the Fuzzies that Maggi is giving to Lucy. You know, if she keeps it up, eventually she is going to run out and then there won’t be any left for you.”

Tim was astonished. He turned to the witch and said, “Do you mean to tell me that there isn’t a Warm Fuzzy in our bag every time we reach into it?” And the witch said, “No, absolutely not, and once you run out, that’s it. You don’t have any more.” With this, the witch flew away, laughing and cackling.

Tim took this to heart and began to notice every time Maggi gave up a Warm Fuzzy to somebody else. Eventually he got very worried and upset because he liked Maggi’s Warm Fuzzies very much and did not want to give them up. He certainly did not think it was right for Maggi to be spending all her Warm Fuzzies on the children and on other people.

He began to complain every time he saw Maggi giving a Warm Fuzzy to somebody else, and because Maggi liked him very much, she stopped giving Warm Fuzzies to other people as often and reserved them for him.

The children watched this and soon began to get the idea that it was wrong to give up Warm Fuzzies any time you were asked or felt like it.

They too became very careful. They would watch their parents closely, and whenever they felt that one of their parents was giving too many Fuzzies to others, they also began to object. They began to feel worried whenever they gave away too many Warm Fuzzies.

Even though they found a Warm Fuzzy every time they reached into their bag, they reached in less and less and became more and more stingy. Soon people began to notice the lack of Warm Fuzzies, and they began to feel less warm and less fuzzy. They began to shrivel up, and, occasionally, people would die from lack of Warm Fuzzies.

More and more people went to the witch to buy potions and salves even though they didn’t seem to work.

Well, the situation was getting very serious indeed. The bad witch didn’t really want the people to die (since dead people couldn’t buy salves and potions) so a new plan was devised.

Everyone was given a bag that was very similar to the Fuzzy Bag except that this one was cold while the Fuzzy Bag was warm. Inside of the witch’s bag were Cold Pricklies. These Cold Pricklies did not make people feel warm and fuzzy, but made them feel cold and prickly instead.