Courtesy of the Good Stuff with Jim Thompson
 
  I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
  but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
  classroom a few years back.
 
  When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
  with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
  show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
  pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
  boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and
  talk about it, they're welcome.
 
  Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
  takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
  stuffed under her sweater.
 
  She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and
  I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
 
 'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a
  seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months
  through an umbrella cord.'
 
  She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
  laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in
  amazement.
 
  'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!'
  Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house
  for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck
  walk and groaning.)
 
  'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have
  a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in
  bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
 
  'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he
  got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
  psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming
  water flowing away. It was too much!)
 
  'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
 
  They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
  out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
  was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
  When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in
  the first place.'
 
 Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
 
  I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's Show-and-tell
  day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.